Separation and divorce is often one of the most difficult and traumatic times in a persons' life.  The legal aspects of separation and divorce can easily worsen this trauma, because the legal system is by its nature, adversarial.  Within this environment, conflict almost inevitably escalates.

The collaborative process can empower families and individuals to resolve in positive ways even the most difficult disputes in even the worst of circumstances.  The result is good solutions that lead to healthier families and relationships after divorce.

Individuals going through divorce each employ professionally trained collaborative attorneys to work with them as they develop a thorough and thoughtful divorce settlement.

THE GOALS OF THE COLLABORATIVE PROCESS

* To equip and empower our clients to make good decisions for themselves and for their families during the difficult process of divorce.

* To help the parties communicate calmly with each other and express needs, interests and emotions appropriately.

* To ask questions, help the parties hear each other, and offer creative and workable alternatives.

* To provide a safe place and organized framework for the parties to discuss each issue and reach agreement.

* To prepare and file all necessary legal documents with the court.

THE COLLABORATIVE PROCESS

Collaborative law is a way to resolve disputes by removing the disputed matter from the litigious court room setting and treating the process as a way to "trouble shoot and problem solve" rather than to fight and win.

Each party in the Collaborative law process signs a contractual agreement which include the following terms:

Disclosure of Documents.

Each party agrees to honestly and openly disclose all documents and information relating to the issues.  Neither spouse may take advantage of a miscalculation or an inadvertent mistake.  Instead, such errors are identified and corrected.

Respect.

Each party agrees to act respectfully and avoid disparaging or vilifying any of the participants.

Insulating Children.

As part of the process all participants agree to insulate the children from the proceeding and to act in such a way as to minimize the impact of the divorce on them.

Negotiation in Good Faith.

Each spouse retains his or her own attorney who understands that the process will involve vigorous, good faith negotiation in the interest of the client.

Sharing Experts.

The parties agree to implement outside experts where necessary in a cooperative fashion and share the costs related to those experts. (eg. real estate appraisers, business appraisers, parenting consultants, vocational evaluators, or accountants)

Win-Win Solutions.

The primary goal of the process is to work toward an amicable solution and to create a "win-win" situation for all.

No Court.

Neither party may seek or threaten court action to resolve disputes. If the parties decide to go to court, the attorneys must withdraw and the process begins anew in the court system.

What is the first step?

To schedule an informational consultation with Attorney Deborah Throm, you can email her at and mention "CONSULTATION" in the subject line.  You can also contact her law office in Durham at (919)544-7402 to make your appointment for a consultation.